"I'm sorry Mr. Oswald, but we may have to repeat your rectal exam. It appears that my wedding
ring is missing." - Scott Mateosky, PA-C

"When we discussed really needing to get into shape last year, round is not what I had in mind." - Darryl Barnes, MS, PA-C

"I'm sorry, but this is the only treatment option your HMO will authorize for that growth."
- Regina Alleyne, APMHNP

"I told you not to sleep in the morgue during your overnight intership hours, Bill." - Marti Sullivan, CNP

"My divorce goes through tomorrow, and she gets the medical bills." - Leann Willis, FNP

"Hold on. I'll drop another quarter in and hope our HMO covers it." - Dick Martin, CRNA

It's a midlife issue, sir. Most men buy a Mustang. You became one. - Elizabeth Olinger, NP

"So you say you want a hare removed?" - Kevin Kelley, PA-C

"I think we've narrowed it down to allergies." - Larissa Norman, NP

"Your HMO will only pay for the surgery." - Gretta Nation, NP